Liberal leader Justin Trudeau admitted this week to taking a puff of marijuana once since being elected as an MP. He said he did not enjoy it, has not taken a puff since. In response, Prime Minister Stephen Harper said the Trudeau statement “speaks for itself”, and said he has never smoked anything because of his asthma. Justice Minister Peter McKay called it a “profound lack of judgment”. NDP leader Thomas Mulcair said he hasn’t smoked pot since he was elected to public office in 1994.

Liberal leader Justin Trudeau, in an interview with VideoPiracy.com, has admitted that he has engaged in pirating videos from the Internet.

“I always pay full price for movies,” the Liberal leader said. “But there was this film, a three-hour documentary on the life of Nelson Mandella, that I couldn’t find anywhere. So, I downloaded it.”

Trudeau, however, says he felt so badly about the piracy that he sent $20 (which he converted to South African rand) to the filmmaker to compensate for the pirating.

He also admits to pirating an episode of Breaking Bad, but only because he missed an episode while he was building houses for Habitat for Humanity.

“I’m really hooked on Breaking Bad,” Trudeau said. “Do you think Hank is going to end up killing Walt? That would be justified, but man, that would be hard to watch.”

In response, a spokesman for Prime Minister Stephen Harper said Trudeau’s flagrant theft of copyrighted material “speaks for itself”, and that the prime minister only watches news, the Stanley Cup finals, the Grey Cup, and episodes of the Murdock Mysteries.  Justice Minister Peter McKay was even more harsh in his assessment, saying Trudeau’s downloading shows his “blatant disregard for Canadian law,” showing that he is “not morally prepared to be prime minister.”

NDP leader Thomas Mulcair said he “never, ever, ever” pirates movies or TV because that would be “stealing from our cultural community”.  He added that his preferred TV viewing is documentaries about the Holocaust or the labor movement, or “anything on Radio Canada”. He then added “hashtag  ‘no to piracy’ … is that how you say it?”

Liberal leader Justin Trudeau admitted today that he once received a photo radar ticket for going 20 km over the posted speed limit.

“Big mistake on my part,” Trudeau told SpeedDemon.com. “I was on my way to the hospital with my wife Sophie in labour beside me, but that was no excuse.”

He also admitted to sometimes driving over the speed limit, but not getting caught.

“It was wrong, I know, but sometimes you just want to get somewhere faster. Frankly, I’m of the opinion that speed limits are outdated, and should be lifted across the country.”

In response, a spokesman for Prime Minister Stephen Harper said the Conservative leader has never had a speeding ticket.

“Actually, he hasn’t driven himself anywhere in years. I don’t even think he has a license anymore,” the spokesman said, adding Trudeau’s actions “speak for themselves.”

Justice Minister Peter McKay said Trudeau’s “reckless disregard for public safety” would result in “someone getting killed … perhaps a child …. maybe YOURS!”

NDP leader Thomas Mulcair, in response, said, “Really? This is what we’re talking about?” After huddling with his communications staff, Mulcair issued a statement saying he has did receive a speeding ticket when he was a teenage driver, but none since. He added that he only drives union made cars.

Liberal leader Justin Trudeau admitted today that he once “shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.”

“It wasn’t my proudest moment, but let’s face it, everyone has wanted to shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die,” Trudeau told the website PeopleWhoHaveDoneThingsThatCameFromJohnnyCashLyrics.com.

“I did it once, just before I won the Liberal leadership,” the Liberal leader said. “It wasn’t as much fun as I thought it would be, so I haven’t done it since.”

Although he has admitted to committing a capital crime, Trudeau said he was only being “open and transparent”, and expects Canadians “will be understanding”.

A spokesman for Prime Minister Stephen Harper said the prime minister was “aghast” as Trudeau’s confession, adding “seriously, I don’t have to confirm that the prime minister has never shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

“The prime minister, in fact, has never even been to Reno. He doesn’t gamble, but if he did, he would gamble at a Canadian casino.”

Justice Minister Peter McKay sputtered that Trudeau “should be in jail”, and that confessing to a murder proves he is not suited to being prime minister.

NDP leader Thomas Mulcair was flabbergasted.

“Seriously? He killed a guy? Holy crap.”

NDP leader Thomas Mulcair, in an attempt to stem the flow of confessions from Justin Trudeau that only seem to be increasing the Liberal’s popularity, today admitted that he has sometimes taken extra sugar packets from Tim Horton’s.

None of the other leaders bothered to respond.

 

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